An Ode to executive coaching: ‘Marina Melia’s Method. How to strengthen your strength.’

Part 1. How to read.

I have recently watched an interview of a blogger on a YouTube channel with a publishing business oligarch—with Oleg Novikov (Eksmo, Litres, etc.). Mr Novikov, firstly, to my surprise, made a positive impression. Some normal person he turned out to be. At least that’s what it seemed. He is, of course, a businessman, but not a huckster. Which is nice. Well. As a novice master of the pen (or now it would be rather master of the keyboard business), I know absolutely nothing about this sphere of human activity—the publishing world. There were a lot of useful things mentioned in the interview, from the point of view of illiteracy eradication in this area. One of the facts is as follows: nowadays all over the world, readers prefer e-books in the proportions of 80/20, but in Russia the opposite ratio is still present—about 80% of book sales is for printed, but not electronic books. At the same time, the audio format is growing well.

My humble opinion on this is the following.
(1) In order to print a book (this is if we are really talking about books, and not about another garbage), we need, so to speak, the source material—wood. 
(2) If you want to read a book on the way, you need to carry it with you.
(3) The book is inconvenient to read—you have to adjust it all the time somehow: turn around this way, then that way. 
(4) The quality of printing and/or formatting of the text can be such that it would be inconvenient to read and might even cause tension to the visual channel. 
(5) Information from the page could be read comfortably provided there is good lighting. 
(6) Storage and disposal (the end of the product life cycle) is a completely different process.

Summary. Why such a torment?! 
Phone, tablet, or computer screen—in most cases, of course and obviously, in my subjective opinion—is the best solution.


Part 2. "Marina Melia’s Method. How to strengthen your strength."

I’ve read it. I don’t know what I wanted be strengthened, but it’s not as simple as I would like it to be. (Nothing has strengthened.) 

These are the notes I made while reading the book (I’ll give excerpts).
- What’s this, a large advertising brochure?
- There are no answers given to the questions raised while presenting the book.
- Notes and instructions for coaches and their future clients.
- One thing is clear: Melia is an excellent consultant. 
- Still there are answers, but they are hidden, wrapped in a veil of hints and allegories. 

In these brief theses, by and large, everything is noted. In the book, some considerations on a given topic slip through, but nothing more. To read, if there is time to change for a parallel metro line and just take a ride (well, that is, you won’t get to your destination), will be interesting. 

There is another thing which is regrettable. The book does not mention a single time that a woman would appear as a client (that is, to be the object of the coach’s help)... It is sad that such an imbalance is present here as well.

And I’m also ready to note the very high-quality making of the book—the cover is a little rubbery to the touch (sounds funny, but everything is fine), the quality of the paper (thick and white, not toilet paper; I’m now reading about our new Orwellian reality—I also bought a printed book for some reason—exactly 54 meters cut into pieces), a well structured and an easy-to-read font, cool inserts with quotes (a whole page with one focal quote on a dark green background), a yellow (cloth) bookmark—convenient.

All the royalties are transferred to the Lighthouse charity fund—I am glad that I have made my contribution to a good (I count on it, since I have not checked) matter.

There is still a lot to note, interesting or not at all (it may seem so for someone). About soft power, which should be used on the way to achieving your goals; about willpower and character, without which you’ll get nowhere, if there is a big goal and desire to achieve results; about honesty and sincerity in relation to your business, to yourself and to the object of influence (even the client, even the buyer, even the whole market)... A lot could be noted, but I will give way to the author’s quotations (I will only cite a few).

‘Together with the client, both of his ego come to us at once. The first is developing: it carries a request for change, it’s looking forward to changes, believes in them and is ready to cooperate with the coach. The second ego is resisting: it puts a spoke in the wheels and does everything so that changes do not take place. Each of these two has its own meaning.

The second wants to stay in the comfort zone, simulate the result, say ‘Thank you very much, you’ve helped me a lot’ and to continue to live its own life. And the first ego, among other things, has to overcome resistance. Without resistance, there is no change.

If we dream of something, but at the same time we do not experience anxiety and fears, it means that we dream either of something unattainable, or of something primitive and easily realised. The main test that shows that our dreams lead us to something truly new is resistance.’

‘It was difficult for the client to come into contact with any new person, the client needed a certain distance, invasion into which he perceived as a threat and aggression. Working on communication techniques using the image of a regular guy turned out to be destructive for him. In addition, when interacting with a consultant, he did not allow himself to remain his own self. And this man is amazingly smart, creative and witty. He didn’t need any training. It was important for him to understand himself, realise his own personality and rely on his strong qualities."

‘For a coach, personal interest and a keen response are important, otherwise he risks committing the most serious crime against the client—to show indifference. The words of Joseph Brodsky come to mind: And among these crimes (against literature—M. M.), the most serious are not censorship restrictions and not burning books. There is a more serious crime—neglect of books, not reading them."

IP: Read, read and read = grow, develop, live.

‘A consultant who is terrified of making a mistake, does not try, does not experiment, does not create. He stops thinking, only painfully tries to remembers what’s the right way. Fear slows down the creative process, shackles imagination and initiative, generates cowardice of thought. Fear of stumbling, painful perfectionism lead to a kind of consultative neurosis. The fear of making a mistake is more dangerous than the mistake itself and costs much more, because avoiding failure does not lead to achieving the goal. If the consultant does not have the courage to act, he misses the opportunity to make a choice in favour of growth.

When you expect to move forward with minimal losses, you should understand that the gains will be also minimal.’ 

IP: Obviously, this approach—try—is universal, that is, it applies not only to coaches, but to all of us.

‘Based on Viktor Frankl’s ideas that existing means being different, we can say that being an individual means being different from others. At the same time, it is dangerous to be different: a bright personality causes misunderstanding of others, irritation, and sometimes hostility. But if we want to succeed in the profession, we need to take risks and consciously build our own unique image.’

All with this part now.


Part 3. I also want to have a word.

And yet answering the question—how to strengthen your strength? Not claiming to be a psychologist with 50 years of experience (this is Marina Melia), but focusing on my 22 years of experience in business. 

Giving advice is both simple, and simple. I just want to share my vision of the answer to the question of questions (i.e. sacramental and important and key for someone). I think it all depends on the context and the details. For each specific case there’s its own recipe. In the first place, as I understand it, it’s necessary to objectively and soberly assess one’s own real capabilities. I am not referring so much to intellectual potential, since in this matter we all of us, I would have thought, are extremely subjective, but it is critical to assess our life conditions and our own reality in which our existence is taking its course of actions. Do you indeed have a real opportunity to grow? If you work from 9:00 to 18:00, you have children, family, household duties, their name is legion... Is there time to strengthen anything? I think that an honest answer to the main question in this marathon (but not a sprint) is the main defining reference point, which can either lead to the success of the entire enterprise, or at the end of the road, at best, it will only be a loss of time.
In a book (another one) about how to write books, the author noted that one of her students was a very busy person, but his striving to the light (I’ll add on my own) was irresistible—he wanted to become a writer so much that he used to write even at traffic lights (on the road), waiting for the light to turn green... Well yes. It would be very interesting to read what that person wrote. But, on the other hand, the question is what the goal is: just to write anything or to write something.
Second. I have already mentioned above—focus on strategy (marathon), do not prioritise tactics. The road will be bumpy, long and full of many challenges and obstacles, mistakes and difficulties. It is necessary not only to thoroughly assess your strength (mental), but also (once again), to view at least schematically the long road ahead, to assess the sufficiency of the resources required for the successful completion of the venture, for the years to come. And as much for the power that needs to be strengthened, there can be no other way—it won’t be possible to reach to the new level just like that.

So, it is important not only to assess the opportunities at the start—sufficient or not—but also to clearly realise that there is a lot of work to be done, and for that it is necessary to have the required reserves.

Third. Try it and don’t be afraid of anything. 
Sometimes it might also happen that you have already come a long way, but when you stop for a minute to review where you are and what you have achieved, you realise that this is not all what you wanted, and perhaps not all what you can. At such moments, there comes (to some and those inquisitive) a desire to try yourself in something else. Desires that were either suppressed, or for which there was no time, or... Do not turn away from yourself and continue running further in the squirrel cage. It’s a chance of a lifetime—to critically evaluate what has already been achieved and decide where, why and how to move on. And if you are lucky, and you see the green on questions 1 and 2, and there is a will to start something that you dreamed of—do not hesitate and try!

No one have put it better than Churchill. It would suffice to just give one of his most famous quotes right away, and not to waste the paper in vain. Well, but after all, we haven’t scribbled over anything.

‘Never give in—never, never, never, never, in nothing great or small, large or petty, never give in except to convictions of honour and good sense. Never yield to force; never yield to the apparently overwhelming might of the enemy.’

Useful and interesting read to all!